


The way to a man's heart

by abyss_valkyrie (Technomancer28)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: #rs24hrchallenge, AU, M/M, Professor!Remus, Quidditch, magical au, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-05
Updated: 2018-01-05
Packaged: 2019-02-28 15:54:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13274826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Technomancer28/pseuds/abyss_valkyrie
Summary: For the R/S 24 hour challenge.The morning after a full moon, Banana bread is the one thing that’s makes Remus  feel better. Also, Flying instructor Sirius Black is obviously out to get at Professor Lupin, or else why would he be finding any and all opportunities to annoy him?Theme:The morning after. Prompts: Pillows, Fire, Snogging, Firewhisky, Lipstick, Pillows, Jealousy,Hippogryff, Banana and tattoo.





	The way to a man's heart

**Author's Note:**

> Knowing me, I'll probably come back and edit this again until I'm satisfied. :3 Also, since this was not beta-read, I'm sure there will be mistakes.  
> This is a Hogwarts AU, which really doesn't follow canon. :D

Remus let out a satiated sigh as he swallowed down the last bite of his banana bread. Ah. Banana bread—the food of Gods. What had he done to be blessed this way? To be able to taste such decadence right after a Full Moon. The toasty crust and bits of banana scattered within the tender, sweet, cake-like goodness—

“I’m sure you’ve found a way to bribe the elves to make it for you,” Lily interrupted Remus’ reflections on the hearty banana bread with a distasteful look at it.

“I assure you I’ve done no such thing, Lily,” Remus answered. The nerve of her, accusing him of such a thing.

He only wished he had done it.

“Then why in Merlin’s name have _we_ had banana bread every single day of the week and _every_ single meal time?” Lily gestured around the Great Hall at the students’ tables which were devoid of the bread and then waved her hand at the teacher’s table. There were at least ten loaves of banana bread sitting on it. Ah, the perks of being a teacher at Hogwarts; Remus was in heaven.

At least he was, until Sirius Black—Flying Instructor extraordinaire and handsome—strode in late for breakfast. Damn the man, did he have to look so artfully disheveled?

Not that Remus thought so; no way. Black was as arrogant as they came, with his smirks and long hair. A pain in the rear as a fellow classmate at Hogwarts, he had for some unfathomable reason targeted Remus to prank now that they were colleagues.

Black never let an opportunity to interrupt Remus’ lessons by waving at him. Or worse, vanishing the window panes and chatting from outside in midst of his own flying lessons while Remus’ students stared awe-struck at Sirius.

On Christmas Eve last month, Remus had been dragged into an Irish step dance challenge by Black which had somehow turned into an all-out competition among the tipsy faculty (thanks to the Firewhisky generously provided by Septima Vector) within the great Hall. The astonishing result being McGonagall out dancing the rest of the teachers.

And he threw bludgers at Remus during Teachers’ Quidditch practice session. Yes, that’s right; somehow Black had charmed the faculty and the Annual Teacher’s Quidditch match had been introduced. Dumbledore had approvingly regarded it as a way of strengthening the _bond_ between the staff.

“Maybe one of the elves has a preference for it,” Remus told Lily as he finally looked away from Black. He had not been staring. At all.

Now then, should he cut himself a third slice (a thick one this time) of the banana bread or not. Bananas were fruits so consequently he was eating healthy, right?

“No sane _person_ has a preference for banana bread,” Severus Snape—Potions Master now—said snidely from Remus’ left. “Or fruitcake,” he added.

“No _sane_ person would trust someone without taste,” Black replied as he stopped behind Remus’ chair and raised a brow at Snape. “Do tie up your hair, Snivellus; your toast is looking a bit greasy there.”

Black was also a complete arsehole.

“Enjoying the banana bread, Lupin?” Black leaned forward and asked Remus with a smile as he sat down beside Lily.

“Quite,” Remus said without looking at the dark-haired man. Did everyone know about his love for banana bread?

He decided to go for the rest of the loaf in front of him.

 

***

“Black, please. I don’t have time to play around with you.” Remus closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead so as to escape the sight of Sirius Black with his hair down, dressed in an elegant high-necked cape. Remus opened his eyes, determined to send Black out of his classroom.

He was greeted by a slow grin; the tips of sharp, lengthened canines gleaming in the light as Black stepped around him to enter his classroom. The love-struck sighs that followed him had Remus rolling his eyes and he quickly shut the door to continue class before Black disrupted his flow any more than he already had.

“I’m here to help. As a teaching aid.” Black perched himself on Remus’ desk and crossed his legs. “You can’t bring in a real vampire and we both know that visual aids help students retain information more efficiently.”

Teaching aid? Black was the very picture of a cliche vampire from head to toe, a very delectable picture, if Lavender Brown’s giggles were anything to go by.

Remus stood in front of his desk, discreetly trying to block the students’ view of Black and have them focus on the lesson instead. “There’s no need for teaching aids for vampires, Black.” Teenagers had enough imagination as they did, romanticising dark creatures. Their books had illustrations to turn those illusions to dust; Black’s ensemble on the other hand was just adding to them.

“I thought you didn’t have time to play around, Professor Lupin,” Black said, cocking his head to a side and then leaned his head forward until his lips hovered just beside Remus’ ear. “You can be the victim and—” His fingers brushed over the nape of Remus’ neck. “—We can give them a graphic representation of just how _dangerous_ vampires can be, how about that?”

Later on, while correcting Fourth Year assignments, Remus found himself thinking about his class with Black that hadn’t been a disaster as he’d been afraid of it turning into. He couldn’t remember much about the class apart from feeling as if his face was on fire the whole time and that Black had looked absolutely bloody gorgeous with his scarlet painted lips.

“It’s called _Moulin Rouge_.” Black had pulled out a tube of lipstick as if he had read Remus’ curious mind. He had caressed the black, dagger-shaped tube before twisting it and re-applying the lipstick. “Lovely, isn’t it?”

He really was.

 

***

Sirius Black was only lovely to _look at_ , Remus told himself as he gritted his teeth and swerved to avoid the bludger Black had thrown at him. He whipped around to see Black waving at him with the Beater’s bat and grinning madly, the animated Hippogryff tattoo on his forearm visible. He had ditched the arm guards at the starting of the practice session.

What a show-off.

Ten minutes into the game and Remus had counted himself lucky that Black seemed to be behaving but then the hairs on the back of his neck had stood up and he had known, just known that Black was out to get at him again.

 _Just what have I done to deserve this?_ Frustrated after dodging the Bludger for the fifth time, he called out for penalty to no avail. Then he remembered that Black was the referee by default of his station.

“It wouldn’t be a foul if it really was the Bludger out to get you, Lupin,” Black shouted across to Remus. He retaliated by flipping him off and was diving off to retrieve the Quaffle before Pomona did. He would concentrate on the game and try to get as far away from Black as possible.

Which in hindsight was not the best idea.

He heard loud swears and Kettleburn shout “Watch out, Remus!” when with a mighty crack, Remus’s broomstick broke. However, what Remus registered as he was falling from 50 feet high up in the air was the blinding pain in his right shin and he knew it was Black’s fault.

He didn’t hit the ground and die as he had predicted but the pain shooting up his leg made him wish he had.

“Fuck. Remus, are you okay? It wasn’t supposed to be like this.” Black was looking down at him, terrified.

 _“Of what?”_ Remus wanted to ask but Black’s hand cradling the back of his head confused him and he tried making out the words he was babbling. But Remus felt his eyelids droop down and he went out like a light.

The last thing he did was curse Sirius Black for being the death of him.

 

***

“I don’t care if he’s your best friend, James. Sirius is the reason Remus is here in the first place.”

Remus woke to Lily’s admonishment that carried from her office to his hospital bed and groaned when morning light hit his eyes. Ugh. He looked around for his wand and was glad to find it on the table beside, and summoned a glass of water. He sat up as Lily entered the Hospital wing, holding a mirror and talking furiously at it.

“I’m not letting him in unless he’s broken at least ten of his god-damn bones.”

“He’s just not good at talking about his feelings, Lils,” came James’ voice from the mirror. “I’ve talked to him, things should be fine this time.”

“No.”

“Lily, please. He’s driving me mad and he’s clearly upset about Remus.”

“Lily, what’s going on?” Remus interrupted the conversation. Lily’s head whipped in his direction and she pursed her lips before pocketing the mirror in her robes, muffling James’ voice.

“Sirius wanted to come and apologise for what happened,” she told Remus and extracted a vial from another pocket. “Here, drink up.”

Remus gulped down the pink potion and made a face. “Smells like socks,” he said and returned the vial to Lily before dryly asking, “Why would Black want to apologise? Wasn’t injuring me his sole intention right from the start?”

“I don’t think hurting you was what he was going for, but—” Suddenly Lily looked thoughtful and she seemed to come to a decision. “You know what, I’ll just let Sirius in after all.”

 _Why?_ Remus almost cried out and breathed out a sigh instead. “I’ll never understand why your husband’s taste in friends is so horrendous.”

“Maybe Sirius just knows how to look pitiful to get his way,” Lily answered as she moved towards the door. “I’m not sure how he does it, but he looked a lot like a kicked puppy when I sent him away.”

Now that was going to melt Remus’ traitorous heart so he frowned and lay down, trying to look unmoved even as the idea of Black apologising was looking appealing in ways it should not. He heard Lily and Black talking for a minute before the door shut and footsteps approached his bed. When Black didn’t speak up, Remus stirred and looked straight up at the man. Surely Sirius Black wouldn’t actually be apologising to a lowly werewolf.

“I wasn’t sure if you were awake,” Black said, hesitantly and looked at the chair beside the bed. “Can I sit?”

Remus nodded, debating if he should sit up and then decided not to. This wouldn’t take long anyway. “Well, what was it you wanted to talk about, Black?”

“I’m so sorry,” Black replied immediately and looked as if he had blurted it out. He ran a hand through his unusually messy hair. “You know I didn’t actually mean for the Bludger to hit you, right? And please stop calling me Black, Remus.”

Remus narrowed his eyes at Black. “That _is_ your name,” he said being purposely obtuse. No way was he going to start calling him Sirius and act like mates now. “You threw that Bludger _at_ me, Black.”

“Just Sirius; it’s not that difficult.” Black looked like he would begin pouting any second. “And I wasn’t throwing it _at_ you, just in your direction.”

“Is that supposed to make a difference?” Remus looked at Black incredulously. “You’ve been doing this for months. Just me, not the rest of my team members or even Severus.”

“Are you mad? Do you know what sort of accidents we’d end up with on our hands if those slippery Bludgers touched Snivellus’ hair?” Black looked so disgusted that Remus had to laugh at the ridiculousness of his words. “Besides, I wasn’t trying to get _his_ attention, was I?”

That made Remus blink once and he looked at Black then; he looked...earnest for lack of a better word. He sat up. “You keep interrupting my classes—”

“You look so sexy when you teach, I could hardly help myself—”

Remus cut in, agitated. “And the one time I had a date with Stubby Boardman, Stubby _bloody_ Boardman of all people, _you_ ruined it by telling him that my favourite band is _The Weird Sisters_. You said his face looked like it’d been in an orgy with a makeup box,” Remus reminded him, hiding his face in his hand at the memory.

“Don’t tell me you didn’t think the same. You’d be looking back in three months and questioning yourself for having gone out with someone who probably assumed that he was your favourite singer,” Black told him matter-of-factly. "I know everyone says we look alike, but obviously, I'm the better looking one," he added haughtily.

Remus scowled at Bl—Sirius, torn between wanting to confirm his suspicions about Black’s words and giving him a good talking-to. “You dragged me to _Madam Puddifoot’s_ after that.”

“Tea is always good,” Sirius answered but Remus wasn’t done yet.

“You ordered Merlin knows how many kinds of tea, trying to act like a friend when you’re the reason my date with an O-list celebrity failed.” Remus could go on and on about the times Black had got in the way of his carefully constructed days but that would probably take all day and Remus would rather not spend it whining any more if he could help it.

“I didn't think you liked him that much?” Bla—Sirius looked puzzled, as if trying to work out Remus. He scratched the back of his neck and looked down. That was when Remus saw the clear container in his free hand.

And what looked like banana bread inside it.

“Is that for me?” Remus asked and B—Sirius looked at the container af if he’d forgotten about it.

“Yeah, it was warm before.” Sirius handed the container which Remus took unthinkingly. “Hoppy makes the best banana bread, I thought you’d like it,” Sirius told Remus, looking unsure now. It was an odd look on his face, Remus thought.

“Who’s Hoppy?” Remus asked as he opened the lid and breathed in the aroma of the bread. He took a bite if it and closed his eyes at the taste. He opened his eyes to see Sirius looking like he was holding back a laugh.

“One of the elves in the kitchen,” Sirius answered. “She’s the one that bakes these for the teachers’ table. Had to keep telling her there wasn’t any need for so many of them every day until she stopped. Guess she got excited trying out new recipes for dessert.” Tell her? Did that mean…

“Black.” Remus cleared his throat and set the container aside. “ _Sirius_ , are you saying you’re the one who bribed the elves with a _recipe_ to bake this every day?”

“Bribe makes me sound like a criminal. I just remembered you talking about how banana bread makes you feel better after a full moon, alright,” Sirius said, forehead creasing. “You’re a difficult bloke to please, you know.”

Remus could _feel_ his walls crumbling like flaky puff pastry just like _that_. Black knew his favourite band and had stored one tiny detail about the fucking banana bread and Remus was ready to call him Sirius and endless pet names. Remus was reaching out before he had even thought this through and slipped a hand around Sirius’ ponytail.

“You know, Sirius, you’re one hell of a vexing wanker.” Remus didn’t wait for Sirius to retort as he turned affronted and pulled him in, sleek hair wrapped around Remus’ fist. Sirius’ eyes widened a fraction of a second before Remus pulled him into an all out snog.

Remus was first to pull away and was struck by the look on Sirius’s face. He was looking somewhere away and touched his lips as if surprised that Remus had kissed him and let out a laugh tinged with the same amazement on his face. He looked up at Remus again and leaned back into his seat, as if just taking in what had happened.

Remus huffed as he played through the last six months in his head; their miscommunication had crossed beyond ridiculousness and into a league of its own.

“Bloody hell, you actually kissed me.” Sirius broke through the silence, wonder clear in his words, “It took me ages of practically courting you when I could have just offered you the bloody banana bread months ago and convinced you to go out with me.”

“What courting?” Remus frowned then. “When you kept bashing broomsticks with me or the times you tried to bludgeon me to death? Or are we talking about the time you challenged me to step dance? Or when—”

 

"But we have so much fun during Quidditch," Sirius interrupted with a grin before adding, "I keep telling you, I wasn’t trying to kill you. And I wanted to dance with you, Christmas Eve was the perfect opportunity, you should be complimenting me for being so clever.”

Remus opened his mouth to argue and then stopped; Sirius genuinely did seem to think that his _‘courting’_ had been the norm.

In fact, when he stopped to think about it, Remus could get a good laugh out of a relationship with Sirius Black, if nothing else. Remus settled comfortably against the pillows on his bed and held out his hand. Sirius reached out and met Remus halfway.

 

~The End~

**Author's Note:**

> With the exception of the word 'jealous', I do think I've managed to use all of the others! :D  
> Also, Louboutin lipstick tubes are gorgeous, aren't they? <3


End file.
